Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
