just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Randomize
