I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
