My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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