To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
