there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
