I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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