i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
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