i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
