Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
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