Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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