I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
