Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
