The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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