dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
