We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
the day after is always just damage control
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Randomize
