K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
