i barfeds in our rink
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Randomize
