If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
