omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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