Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Randomize
