would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
