so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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