Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
