Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
