remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
