is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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