i think my mom watched the whole time
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Boobs speak an international language.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
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