Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
