i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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