So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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