Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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