I'm lost and stupid without you.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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