it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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