so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
