just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
