is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
