So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
We are all done wearing pants today
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
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