No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
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