the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
