She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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