38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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