Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
