So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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