oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize
