you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
