he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
