I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
