I hate your face
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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