Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
