Plan B is the new Plan A
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Randomize
