i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
