Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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